"To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, to-day is big with blessing." Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, page VII. My Grandmother says she received me, God delivered me. On a Sunday morning, five days before Christmas and the house was quiet. All the children were still sleeping. My mom, nine months pregnant with me, her fourth child, was preparing for the day-church, family lunch, etc. Dad was in another room getting ready for church, and mom's parents were visiting for Christmas. Grandfather was reading the Sunday paper in the living room while Grandma helped my mom.
When my Mom told Grandma she thought she was having the baby, Grandma told her with a smile that she better lie down if she didn't want to drop the baby on its head! So mom laid down on the bed. Dad was sitting on the floor next to the bed frantically looking for the doctor's phone number. Before they knew it, I was here, expressing only a sigh of gladness and looking as though I had just had a bath! Dad was still looking for the doctors phone number. It was that quick and easy. The biggest fuss was whether to cut the cord and tie it, or tie the cord and cut it! No one in the room could remember how it went and my dad was scrambling around the room, eventually finding what was needed to tame the task!
My brother, who was ten years old at the time, had wanted to see a baby born, and was very disappointed that he missed the event. He even told mom that IF they had included him, he could have provided them with the kite string he had in his desk drawer! (he was a Boy Scout-always prepared!) Dad finally found the number and called the doctor, who came right over. Everyone checked out to be perfect and complete in every way, and the doctor told mom to come by the hospital to get an official clean bill of health, and then we could go back home. Wasn't my Grandfather surprised when he had to put the paper down so he could hold a baby in his lap!
My dad was delivering a sermon in church later that morning. He walked up to the podium and read the opening remarks from the Bible. It was a Christmas Sermon. He looked up at the congregation and began to read, "Unto us a child is born." The crowd giggled thinking of my mom and me. And then the service continued.
Mom told me that story many times durning my childhood, and it had always been my impression that that was how childbirth was supposed to be. Quick, painless, fearless, joyful, full of love, stress-free, simple, and without burden or strife before, during or after the child arrived. No matter how many times I saw movies or TV shows with dramatic birthing scenes, I would laugh and think it was just someone's misunderstood concept of birth or made that way for dramatic effect. Whether it was someone's sense of reality or false sense of reality, it wasn't mine. So when it came time for me to be a mom, my husband and I prayed with the expectation that we would only accept what God had to say about the baby and me. My grandmother and mother had experienced painless childbirth, so I naturally expected that for myself.
When people found out I was pregnant, everywhere I turned, (as a result of so many accepted limited world views and beliefs), someone had a story, opinion, advice, rule, theory, or justification, and so on about me, the baby, our health, weight, size of my belly, shape of my belly, what I should do or not do, what I should eat or not eat, and what certain food would do to me if I did eat them! It became exhausting by the end of the day! And it wasn't only me, my husband got it too! He would come home from work and tell me some bit of information he received from someone sharing about their unhappy experience while pregnant or after they had their child and all the wear and tear they felt as a result of the experience.
We didn't want to judge these people, or their experiences, we just couldn't figure out why pregnant women were magnets to peoples' (usually total strangers') personal experiences, good, bad and ugly. It may just be a way for people to connect with someone else having a child. Maybe people are searching for a better answer and/or a sense of comfort for some of the questions they have, or inharmony, tragedy, sadness or discomfort they experienced. We tried to be gracious, even though I was confronted by some very rude people sometimes. It helped me focus on the expectations my husband and I believed in and were committed to experiencing when we started the adventure of having children.
My husband and I approached being parents with confidence because we knew we could rely on God for comfort, joy and strength. We had seen proof of God's care as our Father-Mother-God in times past. That comfort gave us an expectation of good which we knew would give us the answers we needed, and to be the example we wanted to follow. Our constant goal was to be obedient to what God was asking of us and to keep the rules of the game God's rules and not human opinion or fear. So much human opinion in the world tries to attach itself to each experience. We were committed to listening for Divine Guidance to tell us the truth of the situation. I was grateful that both of us were so strong in our understanding of God's love and care, that rebuking sickness or limitations or anything unlike God's omnipotent care was our first thought, rather than fear of everything new or old. And everyday there was something to pray about. Its one thing to pray to God for answers or guidance, its another thing to be obedient to those answers with the understanding and confidence that it takes to banish fear and distrust.
We have seven children, seven ideas of God, flourishing every day, every moment as they move forward in their journey. My constant prayer was and is to listen to God's direction for parental guidance. To know that these are God's children, not mine, is vital. I have no hold on these ideas-materially, hereditarily, morally, spiritually, nothing. They are not material creations that my husband and I made. I choose to go higher with the idea of who and what these children are and represent in the course of their lives. If I believe I create life, then I have to believe I destroy life. I hold to the God of the first chapter of Genesis, being an all-good God, all-power, all life, truth and intelligence, governing all, and the only Creator.
I also take the First Commandment very seriously. Given the previous sentence as my basis of trust, I am willing and able to fearlessly banish human opinion or material laws to reject the false testimony to the material senses. I don't have to believe everything I see or hear that comes into my experience. I can choose how to think. I choose to stay with a higher and more trusted thought of God and man's relationship with him. I can be a vessel that pours forth unselfishly and fearlessly, causing no change of shape or distress to the vessel. I can then release the child to God from the beginning and allow God to be the parent of both of us.
I like the idea of God as Father-Mother-God. Everyone can use a little help when it comes to knowing what to do when parenting. I can tell you that during my 25 years of raising 7 children, it has been a huge support to go to God for the answers. Humility and willingness to listen for each step along the way is important. You see, I didn't have to know it all or do it all, nor did I want to have to carry around the weight of a possessive burden that says this is MY child, or struggle with willfulness. That sense of false parenting can create fear, frustration, blame and burden. When do you let it go? If the thought of a child is a burden from the beginning, as you carry it the pregnancy can become a burden and the delivery difficult; and caring for the child an imposition (burden), getting your shape back, so to speak, a burden-a heavy weight you carry around along with all the other impositions of life. And as the child grows, the "terrible twos" are considered a burden, teenage years a burden, college years a burden and even being a senior citizen, a burden. (None of these limitations do I believe in, by the way.) At what point do we stop allowing age and material heredity to be an excuse to determine our happiness or well being?
Every thought had to be kept in check if I was going to be successful in keeping the high goal before me. In II Corinthians, 10:3-5, it says,"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;".
What does this have to do with painless childbirth? Perception, acceptance, clarity, all have an important role in how you are going to approach your life as well as the lives of those around you. Each time I was pregnant, and even when I wasn't, that quote was a source of strength. It allowed me to trust in God's parenting skills for myself and my children, and love what I was doing so much that I was free to be an expression. Then I felt filled up full of God's presence and power, and I could be peaceful and joyful and enjoy every moment with my family without pressure or being uptight or worried. All of that human will and woe was replaced with a clear sense and calm trust.
God's unfailing care has been proven to me throughout all my experiences, and I am confident that His children reflect the qualities of their Father-Mother-God. That is their identity or armor. From the very moment I knew about each child, my expectation of the Divine communication between God and man also allowed me to know that only good was going on with mother and child. Nothing could penetrate that armor inside or out, not then, or ever, and they continue to reflect harmony, health, safety, intelligence, love, spiritual strength and much more. This freedom of thought has been my foundation since childhood, passed down from generation to generation. It can be applied to any new idea that comes into ones' experience. Six of our seven children were delivered at home. Harmonious activity and development for each idea continued even after they arrived. I cherish these experiences and am so grateful for lessons learned that I continue to apply them to new thoughts throughout my day.
Mother's Evening Prayer
O gentle presence, peace and joy and power;
O Life divine, that owns each waiting hour,
Thou Love that guards the nestling's faltering flight!
Keep Thou my child on upward wing to-night.
Love is our refuge; only with mine eye
Can I behold the snare, the pit, the fall:
His habitation high is here, and nigh,
His arm encircles me, and mine, and all.
O make me glad for every scalding tear,
For hope deferred, ingratitude, disdain!
Wait, and love more for every hate and fear
No ill,-since God is good, and loss is gain.
Beneath the shadow of His might wing;
In that sweet secret of the narrow way,
Seeking and finding, with the angels sing:
"Lo, I am with you alway,"-watch and pray.
No snare, no fowler, pestilence or pain;
No night drops down upon the troubled breast,
When heaven's aftersmile earth's tear-drops gain,
And mother finds her home and heavenly rest.
Mary Baker Eddy
